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I was reading today, and came across a blog that was linked from a blog that was linked from a blog that was… you get the picture. This poem is the best possible outcome. I can’t do anything but try not to weep into the void, and hope the hollow will serve some meaning, some purpose in my life.

Mother Wisdom Speaks- Poem by Christine Lore Weber

Mother Wisdom Speaks

Some of you I will hollow out.
I will make you a cave.
I will carve you so deep the stars will shine in your darkness.
You will be a bowl.
You will be the cup in the rock collecting rain.
I will hollow you with knives.
I will not do this to make you clean.
I will not do this to make you pure
You are clean already.
You are pure already.
I will do this because the world needs the hollowness of you.
I will do this for the space that you will be.
I will do this because you must be large.
A passage.
People will find their way through you.
A bowl.
People will eat from you.
And their hunger will not weaken them to death.
A cup to catch the sacred rain.
My daughter, do not cry.
Do not be afraid.
Nothing you need will be lost.
I am shaping you.
I am making you ready.
Light will flow in your hollowing.
You will be filled with light.
Your bones will shine.
The round open center of you will be radiant.
I will call you brilliant one.
I will call you daughter who is wide.
I will call you transformed.

From here: http://girltomom.com/fumbling-towards-ecstacy/mother-wisdom-speaks-poem-by-christine-lore-weber

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Sometimes the realization that there will be no thundering answer from the Divine is difficult to accept.

More difficult than the actual choices and available actions at hand.

The more empty my hands, the more I mourn the loss of what I’ve had, and the less I can celebrate what is still present.

If dreams were thunder, if lightning were desire, this house would have burnt down a long time ago.

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Of MY stomping grounds…

Yes folks, I used to have homeowners insurance in that farm bureau building right behind the guy. Confirmation that Clarendon County needs some *REAL* help with poverty levels? I’d say yes. And I hope the deer was fresh, and that no one got sick after eating off of it.

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I’m curious.

What music are you listening to?

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He would be six years old this month. Had I been able to carry him that is.

He should have been born into my arms instead of pulled from the wrong place in my body by a doctor’s cold knife. All of us should be celebrating his sixth birthday. He should be jamming to AC/DC with his daddy, crawling under the car with him, falling asleep in his arms while begging to stay up “just a little longer”. I should be kissing scuffed knees, laughing while he twirls an entire plate of spaghetti onto his fork, and checking to see if he washed behind his ears. We should be cheering him on at t-ball games, giving him “that look” when his teacher says he was being the class clown, and we should be arguing about whose turn it is to get out of bed on Saturday mornings to make his breakfast. We should be three, not two.

My oldest niece was born a year later, to the month. I hold her tight, and my heart nags that someone is missing. I watch her milestones, and wonder what my child should be doing. I’m glad for her decision to be in our lives, and I cherish her and her little sister.

Happy Birthday Niece1. I hope you are having so much fun celebrating at Disney.

Happy Birthday to you too My Baby. I miss you.

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I thought I would share a blurb of our conversation.

Angela: Ooh! I saw a shooting star over the top of the maple tree!

Noel: Huh. Wonder if we’ll have better luck for a while now… Ya know, we once had a telescope, don’t remember how powerful it was, but we could easily look up close at the moon.

Angela: Cool! What did the moon look like?

Noel: It looked strange. Kinda like someone tossed rocks at smooth sand, then picked them all up, but left the holes.

Angela: Humm… One Christmas I got to choose between a microscope and a telescope…

Noel: I can tell you right now which one you chose.

Angela: Hey now…. (looking off into the sky) I wonder….

Noel: Wonder what?

Angela: With so many meteorites out there, all doing their own thing… Surely, there has to also be at least ONE metorleft somewhere in the universe.

Noel: Yup. And you spent WAY too much time looking at pond water under that microscope, didn’t you?

LMAO!

I love him. I think I might keep him a while.

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They include my best kitchen knife meeting a sharpener…

They also include my crock pot

A pot on the stove

Cinnamon

Sugar

And various other pantry staples

Oh. And apples. Specifically the two 1/2 bushel bags on my kitchen table the WE picked this morning at skytop orchard

Today was the first time in my life I was given the opportunity to pluck a ripe, juicy, warmed in the sunshine (fugi) apple from the branch it was born on, scrub it on my sleeve, then chomp into it. What an amazing experience!

I have some pictures from this morning that you’ll get to see later, along with showing you the yummies I’m going to make with the granny smith.

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So we all went shopping instead, and then went to Dicks Last Resort for an early dinner. Tuesday, Christy had to go back to Columbia for a class at work she couldn’t schedule around, so Noel and I went to see the Yorktown again. Year before last, we went to the North Carolina, so I thought recapping the Yorktown would be something Noel would enjoy.

I thought I would share some of the better photos, and once I get it uploaded to youtube, a video with my lurvely narration. Next time, I’ll have Noel carry around the video camera, he has much more knowledge about the things we were seeing. The best discription I could accureately give was “Here is the Big Ass Boat we came to see. We’re fixing to get ON the big ass boat now…” etc.

The New Cooper River Bridge

Porthole onboard the Laffey

Cool view of the Laffey

On the flight deck of the yorktown.

A sweaty me following the husband around on the flight deck.

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Spoiling the hell out of Noel!

As kids we spent so much time in the kitchen cooking. We would cook at Granny’s house, at her parents house, and when we could get around Mom screaming that we were going to burn the house down if we cooked after she went to sleep, we would make some awesome food at my house too.

Here’s the spread we had for breakfast Monday morning.

That’s O.J., Bacon, Christy’s Kickin’ French Toast, and a HUGE bowl of fresh cut fruit.

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