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And the dreams make no sense.

First I dreamed I was walking on a foot path through woods. The foot path reminded me of the one here, at Mingus Mill in Cherokee NC in the beginning.

There were other people there, families, hikers, dogs on leashes.

Then I came up to the edge of a wheat field, with the beautiful yellowish green young wheat that looks like a huge lawn.

I stayed there in the in the edge of the woods, and knelt into the broom straw, looking to the right at an old HUGE  farm house with white peeling paint. I dream about this type of house a lot, likely because I just like them. They are dotted along the country roads back home.

The house was white, the roof was rusted tin. There was a viranda porch with peaks on either side of the house, and weather vanes on top of the peaks. There was a building on the back side of the house that at first glance I thought to be a barn. I looked closer, and realized the structure was more like a hospital, or ward of some sort from a long time ago. It was three stories, the windows were all borded up, and there looked to be exterior doors on each level that were missing porches. It was a square building, but the corners were angled off, making an octagon with long sides. There were a few smaller buildings behind the tall one, a stable, a barn, a large open structure housing farm equipment.

I found myself wishing I wasn’t alone, so that I would feel safe going over to explore the obvously abandoned buildings. And wishing that I had a camera so that I could remember how to get back. I was looking in my backpack for a bottle of water before heading back, and I could hear the trees start to groan, and wind picked up. I looked up and realized that the wind was either coming from, or coming around the taller building. The ground was turning around it, and the building was moving in circles along with the ground. I realized the building was pulling the ground around it, like a tornado, but with solid ground. I heard the roots of the woods around me begin to creek, and felt the sandy dirt under my knees shift. I jumped up and ran back down the path, but there were limbs and spider webs catching me in the face.

I got to the gravel parking lot and jumped into my car, trying to calm my breath. I remember feeling safe, out of the reach of whatever was happening, but thinking that though it was an amazing experience, there is no way anyone would believe what just happened. I also wondered if the buildings were still there, if the ground was “spat back out” or if it was consumed in some way.

There were a few more dreams last night too.

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I dreamed….

A phone was ringing, it was an old rotary phone, a green one like my mom had while I was growing up. I was running to get it, but didn’t make it in time. I was listening to the answering machine because I couldn’t reach the phone. As soon as the voice spoke, I felt soooo happy, comforted, and excited anticipation.

It was my Annie Mae. My aunt that I loved with all my heart when I was growing up. She died when I was 15 to a horrible, horrible fight with breast cancer.

I’ve forgotten her voice. That bothers me sometimes… but in the dream I remember thinking that I KNEW her voice, and that I loved her voice, and I was relieved that I remembered it.

She said

“HEY! You’ll never guess who this is! Yeah, it’s Annie Mae. I’m excited! I’m coming to see you! Well, I’ve been there all along, but I’m coming BACK really this time. I’ll be there very soon, I’m on my way. And we’ll get to really talk to each other now.”

There was more said, and as I was waking I was trying desperately to hold onto it. I just couldn’t…

I remember there was a man in the background talking too, and his voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t understand most of the words that he was saying- I was trying to concentrate on my aunt.

I also remember trying to play the message again, but it seemed garbled, and I couldn’t understand her. I had to stop listening to the garble, I was afraid I would forget everything she said… I had already begun to have problems remembering the last part, which by the time I woke up, was completely gone.

I just hope that somewhere deep down, my heart held onto the rest of what she called to tell me. And I hope beyond hope that I DO get to see her real soon. I would give anything to know she was really on her way to see me. I would give anything to have her back. She was my angel. When she was dying, she held me so tight, and called me her most favorite Nephew. Her words were so precious. She was one of the very few genuinely good people in this world. Almost child like in her virtue. She is very missed.

And I’m sure… very sure that she would be sad that I am crying now. I still miss her so much.

I miss you Annie Mae. I can’t wait until you get back. I just hope I’m able to know that it’s you.

Mom said she dreamed of you night before last, but she doesn’t remember anything much about it. Maybe you told her too, that you are on your way.

Have a safe journey.

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I love my dreams. I love that they are at times profound enough to puzzle me throughout the next day. Let me tell you about the dream I had last night.

The air was cool, there was a breeze on my face, but the sun was shining and sparkling in the water in front of me. The sky was blue, and the clouds were puffy, white, and moving along in a lazy manner, the same pace that you often see older people in the park going for a stroll. There were mountains around me, green and lush, circling all around. There was a river in front of me with a white bed. There were white and light tan stones of all sizes all along the bottom, the water was crystal clear, and about ankle deep, sometimes mid-calf deep. It was wide, and as long as the eye could see. I knew that the river was much deeper to the left, and there was a drop, like a waterfall to the right.

We had to cross. By we, I mean my Mom, Dad, Noel, Me, and a few other people. Perhaps you were there too? One of the taller, more burly men was our guide. He stated the obvious: “We’ll have to cross here.”

I said “No problem, the water isn’t moving that fast, but I bet it is cold.” as I stepped further onto the bank and put one of my feet into the edge of the water.

Guide said in a strong, calm voice “You’re going to want to watch things a little better than that.”

At the exact same second, the riverbed came alive beneath my feet. Eyes opened, body shifted, and the mouth of a long but slender crocodile snapped at my ankle. I jumped back, startled, with the “I should have known that” type knowledge, and the feeling that I had done this before.

My dad chuckled, in a way I have only ever heard come from my dad. “Heh, Heh, bet you won’t do that again.”

I rolled my eyes and grinned at my dad. I looked at our guide and said “I think Noel and I will be fine, but I don’t know how Mom and Dad are going to cross. It’s going to be hard for them.”

Guide said “Just be careful, step on their mouths when you see one, and hope there are none here yet that are bigger than that guy.”

Off we went, the water was so very cold on my feet and legs, we were all jumping on crocodiles on our way across the shallows. It took forever, and despite knowing there was danger, I was having fun, and making the work into a little game.

We got to the other side, and continued a climb between two of the green mountains. We came to an overlook, and all laid down on our bellies in the soft bed like grass. This is where we were on our way to. We looked out onto a valley like meadow. There were every kind of animal you could imagine, all happy and frolicking in the green grass. Zebras, Lions, Horses, Elephants, Leopards, Cranes, Buffalo, you name it, it was probably there and taken note of.

It was beautiful. It was real. I was there.

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